Saturday, December 31, 2011

2012

Can't say this year started off with the bang I expected. Or hoped for. I'm trying to be optimistic. I mean those superstitions about the first moment of the new year aren't true right?
Right?

Thursday, December 29, 2011

I've Been Sin Internet All This Time

I missed my blog! :'(
But now I'm back in business baby! :)
You guys would not believe this holiday! First my dad wound up in the hospital and had his toe amputated, but me and LoverBoy drove the kids up to the hospital ponh Christmas and brought all the presents and had a surprise Christmas party in his room :) It was so nice. And I think it made him feel so much better :) And he got to come home that afternoon!
Of course, on Christmas Eve we had been without Mom's cooking and so the Sister and I, who are managing to get along now (I'm just waiting to get back to the dorm and all my stuff be gone), cooked ALOT of food and it all came out wonderful! Downside? Poodle and Bull (that's how I'm going to refer to my "real" mother and her bully husband) showed up and pushed my buttons all day and came back the day after Christmas. I tried to talk to them about something that had happened and I was very calm and polite and they freaked out so I told them off and now they say they won't ever come back. Great. Not that I'm going to miss them, just a couple other people in the family will.
So. Bipolar huh? But it's ok, it will either work out or it won't. Anyway, I need to go update my other blogs too :) When I return to my high-speed internet full campus, I'll be posting more often. I hope your holidays are going well too!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Finals Week, Day One

So it's Monday of Finals Week. Luckily, I had no tests today, but my first one is at 8 AM tomorrow. Ew. It's two hours long and I have to write a 6-10 page essay on "HISTORY" more specifically on how religion drove history. Fun.
I'm making myself feel better by telling myself that
a) I can't possibly do any worse in the class than a B although I'd prefer an A
b) Once it's over, it's effin over :D

On a different note: I had a great weekend. :) I want to put up Christmas lights with LoverBoy every year for the rest of my life.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

It Almost Makes Sense

I've been really lonely these last few days. I'm living with a girl who, a year and a half ago, was my sister and is now nothing but a thorn in my side; I'm stressed out about my final exams; LoverBoy refuses to keep up a conversation--I realize that he's not doing it on purpose but come on, don't say "Call me if you need me" if you aren't going to a) answer your phone when it rings, b)turn it up so you can hear it ring, or c)have it on you in the first place because you sure have it in your hands every time we do anything together-seriously just -and I can't sleep.
Maybe that explains why I'm so ok with putting bits and pieces of my life on the internet. Especially since no one is really reading it much anyway. If I'm not talking to anyone, but I'm obviously talking (or rather, writing) does that mean I have one of the signs of insanity? I suppose I'd have to be answering myself for that to happen though.
...I seriously just answered my own question didn't I? Fabulous. Oh, look. I did it again.
I hate being lonely. I especially hate it because when I'm super lonely and no one is answering their phone, I turn right to this thing, knowing I have nothing important to say. I almost feel bad, like I'm seriously wasting the time of that one loyal reader I have. My silent follower. Poor thing. I'm driving you crazy aren't I? You probably just wish I would shut up and post my recipes when I promise to. I don't blame you. I wish I could do things on time too.
I think I'm going to listen to an audiobook. Yes, I listen to audiobooks. I read too much and strain my eyes all the time so I have to resort to listening, which is actually good for you, mentally. Maybe Wuthering Heights? What am I talking about, of course it's going to be Wuthering Heights.

Questioning My Motives

So I'm starting to find it ironic that I can't talk about things to the people around me but I can post them on here for the world to see. It almost makes me want to delete my previous posts and redirect the purpose of this blog. But that's the thing. This is the purpose of the blog. And I don't know what else I could do with it.
My other blog, Who are you, God? is doing pretty well (I mean it's not on the New York Times Best Sellers List or anything but I think people are interested; they're reading.) so that makes me happy. And writing it down makes me feel better. I can go back and see where I've come from.
I've wrapped four presents tonight. One for my boss, one for both of my co-workers and one for my brother. When I get home, I need to wrap up the ones from LoverBoy, my little sister and find something for the other brother and Dad. I got Mom a spa gift certificate so I had to give it to her early but I also went and got her an Elvis Christmas record. I need to wrap that too. Did I mention that when I bought it, I also found myself a Duran Duran record? :) I'm so happy. I love records. That's one thing that when my family does it together, we never fight or anything. It's just fun. And in a house with so many people, it's hard to make everybody happy.
Finals are coming up next week... Grrrrrreeeeeeaaaaaat. And now I'm going to go work on some of my study guides before B. and I watch a Christmas movie. :)

Monday, December 5, 2011

I'm Such a Dirty Liar

Here, it is, finally, LATE as ever, the promised recipe for sweet potato biscuits. But totally worth the wait, I promise!

You will need:
2 Cups of Self-Rising Flour
3 Tablespoons of Brown Sugar
1/4 Teaspoon of Cinnamon *
1/8 Teaspoon of Ground Allspice *
1/4 Cup of Butter
3 Tablespoons Shortening *
1 Cup Mashed Sweet Potatoes
6 Tablespoons of Milk *
2 Tablespoons Melted Butter

*I had to improvise for some ingredients. For example, I added more cinnamon because it's so yummy; I used about a whole teaspoon. I didn't have any ground allspice so I mashed up one whole allspice. I didn't have any shortening so I used two tablespoons of vegetable oil. I also decided to add about three more tablespoons of milk to my mixture because it wasn't wet enough.

Combine first four ingredients in a bowl and cut in the 1/4 cup of butter and shortening/vegetable oil with a pastry blender or fork until crumbly. Add mashed sweet potatoes and milk, stirring until dry ingredients are moistened.

You have two options now:
A. Turn dough out onto floured  surface and knead a few times, roll out to 1/2 inch thickness and cut with a 2'' biscuit or cookie cutter.
OR
B. Roll a teaspoon sized amount of mixture into balls.

Place biscuits on an un-greased baking sheet (I admit it, I greased it anyway) and brush with melted butter. Bake at 400 degrees for twelve minutes (if you used a cookie cutter, they will turn a pretty brown color and if you rolled them into balls, they will be more of a yellowy-white). Drizzle with honey and serve warm. My yield (the teaspoon sized balls) was about 25. I also put them into pretty cupcake papers :)

You can also cut them in half and put a piece of ham in the middle. Freaking yum.

ENJOY!

And I would just like to say that everyone liked them and they were all gone and I had no idea that sweet potatoes were so cheap! BEST. STAPLE. EVER.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

More of My Lists

You guys know how I am about lists.

I have a bucket list.
I have a religion list.
I have a playlist.
I have a list of things that make me happy.
I have a list of things  want to do for my wedding (of course, I have everything on that list lol).
I have a second bucket list.

It goes on and on.
Something I've added to my list of "Things that will never happen, even though it'd be freaking awesome" list:
Have these guys do my wedding. Or better yet, work there. I mean come on. This stuff is amazing. I mean, I know how they're managing to capture these moments, I know the techniques. But they're beautiful. And simple. Simply beautiful :)
I'm so jealous of all the couples on the page that have the money to get photos with these ladies. I'm not criticizing their prices by any means, it's just that I can't afford it. I mean, the photos and the video (which seems awesome; I watched one--I'm not sure how many they have up right now--and I cried; I didn't even know the couple) would be over $2,000. That's more than my whole entire budget. And, of course, you know I've looked through photographers. I mean I could just ask my boss to do it, but he's my friend. I want him as a guest at my wedding, not stressed out while he's there because he wants to a good job for me, because that's exactly what he'd do. And I love my co-workers, but Pinkie isn't interested in the actual photography enough to want to do something like that and as much as I love Mo, I just couldn't trust her to capture what I wanted and of course, I can't take photos during my own wedding. But luckily, that's a long way off so I have plenty of time to figure that out. It's just that feeling you get when you see the most beautiful dress in the world and realize you can't even afford to look at it. At least I have time to think about it. I really shouldn't be freaking out because for goodness sake, he hasn't even officially popped the question yet.

And I PROMISE I will put up that recipe this weekend! Pinkie swear!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I am so Neglectful

The Sister to Sister hatred rages on. The boyfriend is still just a boyfriend (not a fiance). I'm still hungry and I'm still confused about God. Which is another blog I need to update. In fact, I really need to do that because its been even longer since I posted there than it has been here. Gosh I don't want all my posts to apologies for not posting. Where's my sweet potato biscuit recipe?

Monday, November 28, 2011

Today

It sucks.

Thanksgiving Break

So bad news:
My biological mother showed up for thanksgiving.
She brought her douche bag husband.
My grampa cried.
My back hurts.
The Sister is acting seriously b-i-t-c-h-y again. I can't say it because I decided to take the next several weeks to tone my vocabulary.

GOOD NEWS :)
My biological mother showed up for thanksgiving.
LoverBoy and I put up our first Christmas tree.
He bought Dante a rain coat! HAHAHA
I finally have some food and room in the fridge to put it.
I have pictures!!!
I can't post them right this second though...

Thanksgiving was good. The food was good. The company was (mostly) good. The food was good. I got to see everybody and sleep til 9. The food was really good. And I made some of it. I'll be putting up another recipe later: Sweet potato biscuits. Sound funny. Taste YUMMY.

The Sister has decided that when she moves out, she's taking the fridge. Well I don't care, but you better believe you're walking your tail to housing and checking with them before you do it because I'm not paying for the darn thing just because you took it without them knowing. I really don't like her. And of course, when we got home, she was playing nice with everyone. Then as soon as I get up here this morning, she's being a jerk. I mean she's being something else but like I said, I'm toning my vocabulary. I just really want her to go ahead and get her crap and move out. And if I have to lose the micro-fridge to get rid of her then so be it. All I can say is, I better not have to move out because of her or I will throw down. I mean I'm not the one who broke the agreement, she is. She just happens to be able to pay for a private room. Just because I don't have that kind of money does not mean that I should get booted out of the building with no where to go and even less money than I started out with. This, this right here, is part of the reason I despise her so much.

I'm trying not to be bitter, but every time I think about it, it just leaks out. It sucks. I don't want to be angry and yet I can't seem to keep from it. I just want her to go.

Ok, coming later today, pictures of Dante and a yummy Christmas-time biscuit recipe. :D

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Break for Turkey

So, since I'm going home for a week and we have crappy dial-up, don't expect much until next week, though maybe if something cool happens it will be worth getting on the crappy dial up to tell you :) Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 21, 2011

On My Mind

One: I swear, I will write down some bad puns so I can start making not-funny titles for my posts again :)
Two: weddings. Seriously on my mind. I thought LoverBoy was going to pop the question that one weekend, remember? Well, as we know, that was a no-go. I was so disappointed but I thought maybe it would be a Christmasy thing. Maybe. And then his dad asked for his Christmas present: a pair of wedding bands for himself and his wife. They never actually got married. And I think it is SO SWEET and I'm really impressed that he would ask for something like that and I want it to work out, I'm even willing to throw in a little myself since they're going to eventually be my parents-in-love. But Man-O-Mine has a very limited budget AND needs new tires because his just started sucking way too much to ignore much longer. So that's about five hundred right there, then the wedding bands for his parents, then a normal twenty dollar gift for his siblings, his few friends and me.
Know what that means?
No ring for me.
Does that SUCK? yes. Is there anything I can do about it? no. So, as excited and subsequently disappointed as I was the first time, this is worse because I know it's not going to happen anytime soon. And by anytime soon, I mean in the next six months or so. And it's been four years. I'm not content with "dating" anymore. That's enough. But it's not something I can change without just decided that it's marriage or nothing. And I can't do that either. So I'm stuck here. I want him to want to marry me. And I don't want him to do anything he's not ready for and then resent me later. But I also don't want to try to be fitting into a wedding gown when I'm forty.  I know we're young. But I want to enjoy our youth together, not waste it. At this rate, by the time we get married, we'll either have to rush to have kids or just not have any. I want us to have a few years to ourselves at least. Not years where we don't even live together. We aren't children. We've thought it out. We have a plan. He just isn't setting it in motion and I'm getting tired of waiting. I want him to be excited about spending the rest of his life with me. He won't even ask! I'm not bashing him, really I'm not. But dang it.
Anyhoo, I've been looking through wedding magazines anyway. If only I could afford this stuff, like a chocolate freaking fountain! You can just hold the strawberries under it and they get covered. It's the best invention I've ever seen! We always planned to do a fall wedding, and I love the idea because the weather is wonderful and everything but.... the colors... I don't love brown and orange for a wedding celebration. I was thinking something a bit more....colorful....

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I keep forgetting which blog I wrote on

But on the up side, the other two are doing well. I'm doing ok too. Found out the sister is moving out next term. Which is fine, but she didn't tell me and wasn't going to and if I can't find a new roomie, looks like I might have to move out AND pay up two hundred bucks for breaking my housing agreement by moving out. AND when I forfeit housing, I also forfeit half of my scholarship money, which means I may have to drop some of my classes. Great. It was a bitch thing to do. It was. And I cussed. her. out.
But I'm not mad. I got tired of being mad and it wasn't like it would fix anything anyway. And I got tired of worrying about it because that didn't help either. So now I'm just riding and it will work out or it wont and if it doesn't, something else will.
Anyhoo, yah. I've been thinking about youtube videos, tattoos and school (a little, on the side lol). And money. I been thinking about that alot because I just don't have any. I need money for next semester, for an apartment in June (maybe.....), for Christmas presents, for groceries and to save up. Why is it that I need so much money and yet I obviously cannot possibly acquire it? I have a minimum wage job that I can't work more than twenty hours a week in, but really I hardly get more than 11. I LOVE MY JOB. I just wish it paid better. I'm thinking about getting a second but it's really hard to photograph randomly occurring sports and have a normal shift at a diner...
It will be ok, it will be ok, it will be ok....
It will. Don't make that face at me.
I need a canvas. A big one. And paint. Lots and lots of paint. That would make it all better for a while at least :)
BY THE WAY:
AWESOME recipe coming soon. Just gotta get LoverBoy to give me the camera with my pictures on it. But you guys, I stuffed strawberries with cheesecake and dipped it in melted chocolate! O.O Yah.
And an update on my dad, it's going well :) Thanks!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

This is Just Funny

 Just thought I'd put up some pictures of Dante :) He was considerably smaller when these were taken less than a month of ago. He's probably tripled in size since we got him (less than two months ago).

He really likes to stick his head out the window. In fact, he really likes to stick the whole top half of his body out the window while I hold on to his tail in a panic.

He also likes to take up all the room on the bed. He's not a very good sharer. As tiny as he was then, he could hog the bed. Now that he's bigger, he hogs everything. He and I especially have issues in regards to the right side of the bed. It's mine, he just doesn't understand that. He thinks it's his and I just don't understand. He usually wins.

When he's asleep, the most adorable thing! Do you think we HAVE to tell him that he's adopted? lol



Monday, November 7, 2011

2 Posts 1 Day

I watched the Black Swan movie. Creeeeeeepy. *shudder* I mean I dont even know how much of the movie was actually happening and how much was just her being crazy. But let me tell you, that girl is crazy. CA-RAY-ZEE.
Been talking to JC almost all day. Im surprised he isn't sick of me yet. I think he's a little lonelier than he lets on though. Honestly, we don't even talk about anything. This is the usual conversation:
JC: Slacker
Me: I know.
JC: No you don't.
Me: But you do?
Yep.
Nope.
Always.
Never.
Never Land.
Nah.
Why?
Why not?
Too far away.
Nah. I'm tired.
No your not.
Yes I am. I'm going to bed soon.
No.
Well I'm not going right this minute.
Then go left.
smh.
It's pointless but it keeps both of us busy when we're dying of boredom and we both have company, albeit, pointless company. But we make good distractions for the other when the day just sucks.
In other news, LoverBoy has got something up his sleeve today...hmmmmmm. He's been so sweet to me lately. I mean I still can't get the boy to rub my back, no matter WHAT I do. But he's been being really thoughtful. Like he remembered I said something about wanting a night stand. I really did want one, but I'm sure I only said it once, like a passing thought. But he got me one. And my mom's birthday is coming up and since I didn't have time to finish painting her gift (a gardening station I fixed up from a work bench; I'll try to remember to get pictures), he painted most of it for me. He made it look good too. I'm impressed. But more than that, it's just so sweet. :) I'll have to do something for him this weekend. I don't know what. He's not hard to please, he's just hard to really please. Like he's happy with pretty much anything, but I want him to be happy because he's happy not because he's ok with something. He does that most of the time.

Another Nameless Post

That demonstrates how lazy I'm being, I suppose. I don't care. This weekend was long. Dad's in the hospital, though he's doing much better now. I'm losing my mind. We drove around last night listening to Christmas music for a while. There were, of course, no Christmas lights out, which may be what got me down in the first place. But either way, I feel like crap. I'm letting my circumstances define me. I'm not proud of that. But I'm also just so bored. I'm so bored with this way of life. I get up, go to work/school, come back, eat, do work, rant on here sometimes, go to bed. For fun, I watch a TV screen or read a book that does nothing except make life look paler or I go spend money on things I won't ever use. It's pointless. And I'm tired of it.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

This Has No Name

I need to remember that I can't burst out a new blog every time I have a good idea. This blog right here, this place is where my good ideas should come and then if I remember them after that I can make something of them.
In other news, I think it's about time for another how-to. I just don't know what yet.
Also if any of you are artistic (in painting, writing, song writing, moviemaking, etc.) you should stop by my other blog The 10th Muse and enter the contest because no one has entered it YET!! Sad day.

Something as Simple as a Sign

We have a whiteboard on our dorm door so we can leave notes for each other, for friends, for people walking down the hall, whatever. Le Douche was all "heart heart heart" on it two days or so ago and our dad is going to a surgeon today to possibly get his foot amputated. I erased the board and wrote "please pray for my dad" and when I got back from work, The Sister (who is from this point on known as the She-Witch) had torn the board off the door, erased what I wrote and put it upside down on a chair in our room. So because you're mad at me because you're acting like a petty bitch, you are going to take it out on our father, not that you know what's going on anyway.
Someone tell me how I'm supposed to be "the bigger person" in this situation....
Anyway, everyone, please pray for my dad.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I Ranted Today

So, remember how I said that I had a not so sneaking suspicion that I'd have a ring next week? Well I told my boss that that was why I couldn't work. In his excitement (I suppose) he told my co-worker, who (for Lord knows what reason) told The Sister and Le Douche. *Hand on My Forehead.*Anyway, so his response is to get mad, say "Well, I did it first." and walk away. Well at first I was very, very angry. I mean who the bad word cares about what you did and when you did it? This ain't got nothing to do with your stupid self. And I said some bad words, all about them (what exactly, EXACTLY, they were and just where they could go, how they could get there and what they could do when they got there....) but after I ranted a bit and fumed for about twenty or thirty minutes, I realized I was being stupid. I was just making it into a bigger deal, which is what they were meaning for it to be. So I stepped back and actually processed my second thought on the situation. How pathetic. I mean, what does that one statement say about these two relationships?

About The Sister and Le Douche that statement says:

  • They are completely insecure in their relationship
  • They compare their relationship to ours
  • They are somehow dependent on the success or failures of our relationship
  • They see the relationship as a competition
  • In this imaginary competition it is more important for them to "win" than it is for them to be together
  • This reduces their relationship to meaning practically nothing
  • That's really sad
About LoverBoy and I, that statement says:
  •     
  •       
  •       
  •    
  •        
  •     
  •        
So, I decided I wasn't upset anymore, because me letting myself be upset only means that I value what they think and that what they think matters. But that's not true. I value their opinions probably less than any other person's that I know (those that I very much dislike are included in this category). And if they told me what they thought about my relationship, would it affect anything? No. So I let it go.


I feel....proud. Proud that I got myself under control and thought about it logically and that I was able to come back to my room, look her straight in the face and not get even the teeniest bit angry or even annoyed.
I don't want to use the word "victory" as in I've beaten them, but more-so that I've beaten my attitude, if only a small bit. 
Immaturely enough, I feel like having a party: the theme should be "I took a step up on the maturity ladder" lol

Anyway, I hope you all have a great night (or whatever time it is where you are).

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I Need an Attitude Adjustment

So no matter what I think is true in the end of this journey, I know there is God and I know He is Love.
My problem is that I can't get over how much I despise The Sister and Le Douche. Stop pretending to be asleep, put it back in your pants (and keep it there) and get out.
Yet, how am I an better by acting and thinking the way I do? I'm not. So, I'm going to try to....be a bigger person I guess.
We'll see how it goes.....
Wish me luck.
On another note, B. and I went around town today apartment hunting and the more we tentatively plan things around moving in together, the surer I get that it's a bad idea. I mean I was as up front with him as I felt was tactful. I said that if he found something he liked and could afford, he shouldn't worry about me because if I found something LoverBoy and I liked and could afford that we would get it. I also told him (at the very start of our expedition today) that the goal isn't necessarily to move in together or get an apartment together but just to find something. I found one that I'm very seriously considering and he doesn't like it. And that's fine with me because it's something that I wouldn't want to share. I mean the two of us isn't a big deal (although I'm sensing it would turn into one eventually) and I told him upfront: This is NOT for me and somebody else. This is for me and LoverBoy and the only reason we would want a (A) roommate is to make it more affordable. But now B. is talking about him and his boyfriend. Well, I like your boyfriend fine, that's fine, but I thought I made myself very clear that I was pretty sure I didn't want him to move in. B's argument was that it would make it easier for him to afford since he is a server but hang on: I get minimum wage too and I get less hours than you do and then later I found out by slip of his tongue that his parents would be paying his rent. So.... not technically a lie but still deceptive so you can convince to live with yet another person. I mean, I also made myself very clear about the fact that MY (not B's, not B's boyfriend's and not even LoverBoy's) name is going on the lease. This place is mine. I made this all VERY, VERY clear and never said for sure that I was ok with so and so moving in and yet B has already practically got the boy packing. I feel like there's been a massive shift and I'm not ok with that. Sure, call me a dictator, but I don't care. It was my idea, it's my apartment. If you want one, fine, but there's no way you can just decide without me that someone else is moving into my apartment and that we're getting THOSE apartments (the most expensive ones I've seen and they aren't even in the freaking city!) and that nothing has to be unplugged because so and so is paying your bills. Well nobody but me is paying my bills and I'm not ok with all that and I'm not ok with you acting like it's all your decision. Let's be brutally honest here: I am getting an apartment when it is financially convenient for me. That was the plan all along. I am getting an apartment with my name only on the lease. Also been said all along. I am not ok with four people (one of which I don't know that well) living in my apartment. Also made very clear. I am not paying a ridiculous light bill because you refuse to unplug things. Made perfectly clear and yet was disagreed with. Why would you WANT to raise a bill for something you aren't even using?! More later.

Oh the Controversy

I tried to post this the other day but Blogger was like "nuh-uh" and wagged its finger at me.
So basically, I burnt my thumb on a 410 degree flat iron and it hurt but most of my thumb print has returned :)

Now for the stupidity. The Sister and SuperEgo (who I've decided to rename Le Douche) "officially announced" their "engagement" on facebook.
Numero Uno, you've been engaged since June. Kind of interesting how you waited til right after your best friend gets engaged and right before your sister's (me) four year anniversary to tell everybody, huh? Not getting all the attention for once?
Darn. Well don't worry, you and Douche will have a great marriage for like 4 whole months!
Secondly, did you not feel the need to inform certain individuals before you told the whole world? I don't know, like OUR MOTHER, who I'm sure would have been very interested to know that you were getting married before all your facebook friends. Or, maybe your sister? Although you didn't have to tell me, I found out but it would have been nice to be among those that you consider important.
Oh wait, I forgot, nobody is important but you and Douche. Right. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Anyhoo, so I have a not so sneaking suspicion that I'll be getting my own ring quite soon. :D
And it's about dang time too! I mean excuse me, but you (The Sister) and Elso (friend) can get married and I been with LoverBoy since before you all even knew each other? AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF:
My sister wants to graduate with me and Douche and do you know why? So she can get married right before I do. That's her motivation for graduating college. Wow. Like you have nothing better to do with your life than spitefully try to sabotage my wedding. Really? Well you go right ahead. You're the one getting stuck with a complete jackass.

Anyway, I'm going to stop obsessively ranting about them and focus on how happy I am that this is going to happen! :) God, I'm so excited. I'm so freaking happy. You all will be informed quite shortly after it happens (I'm soooooo counting on this weekend)! I just can't curb my enthusiasm. *SCREAM* ah.

The apartment is a maybe (a probably maybe); the engagement is also (end even better) a probably maybe, I found dollar TV dinners that are fabulous (Alfredo, tortellini, pizza rolls, chicken flatbreads), I'm just happy. :)

Want to see the ring I want?
This is THE RING people.
But even if I don't get this one, it's ok,
"cuz it ain't about the bling on the ring,"
it's about us :)
Have a great day guys :)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Where Am I?

I don't think it's been that long since I wrote here but in all honesty, I'm not super sure. You haven't missed anything though. I've spent every afternoon with B. and we've had a marvelous time. The only thing is, I'm sooo tired. I feel like I'm going to collapse and just have a narcoleptic attack at any moment. I'm sure boss man would love that. As awesome as he is, I doubt he'd give me any slack for that since it's my own fault to  begin with. I need to work on my deadlines. I just took an English midterm and my history midterm is tomorrow morning. And what are my plans tonight? To try a Coca-Colada (which is coconut rum and coke; I'm really asking for it). No, I'm not going to get drunk, I don't like alcohol. B is convinced he can invent a mixed drink I will like so the Coca-Colada is next on the list.But before that, we're going to the mall and I'm going to buy some more pretty stuff :) (I'm talking about underwear, shhhhhh).
Does anyone out there have a really interesting life? Is anyone a spy? Let's talk about your adventures.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Show Me the MONEY!!

So. I've been selected as a bridesmaid. I don't know if I told you that already. I have to find a nice cheap dress for the wedding and help the bride figure out some things, like where she's going to get married. And when. And what is she going to feed people. And those types of things. Exciting. Hard to budget. Good practice for my own wedding though. :) So, I need some money for all this fun stuff. I need a dress and some shoes and a camera (a real camera; I hate having to borrow a semi every time someone asks me to photograph something), an apartment and a dog trainer. Gah.

So my other cooking escapade. Just in case you liked the last two recipes, you'll be amused to discover that my third was a complete failure. It was salsa and queso for crap's sake. I messed up salsa and queso. I have looked EVERYWHERE for a recipe for white queso like they have in the restaurants and I couldn't find anything so I thought "Well, I'll try it and if I get it right then I'll put my own online so other people can find it." It was such a failure that my dog wouldn't even eat it. And you know how he is. He eats everything, chews on everything, tears everything up. But he would not, NOT, eat that "cheese" dip. It was horrific. And I said to myself, "well, at least the salsa is probably good; there's cilantro in it and fresh tomatoes and a jalapeno; it will be great!"
no.
no it was not.

I can invent Alfredo sauce to rival that of Olive Garden, but I can't make cheese dip and salsa. Damn you rotel!! Why do all the people I know only know how to make rotel?!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Yogurt Parfait

So, to go with our spring like entree, I also made a fresh desert: yogurt parfaits. And they were cheap. Only used three ingredients! So here's what I put in:
Vanilla Yogurt
Cereal with your favorite dried fruit (mine had blueberries AND strawberries; SCORE!)
Chocolate Chips

INSERT PICTURE I FORGOT TO TAKE OF THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS HERE





So here's how I did it:

Get a tall container and put a layer of yogurt in the bottom. Add a thick layer of cereal followed by another layer of yogurt and then a thin layer of chocolate chips. Your yogurt layers can be as thin or thick as you like, but I recommend your cereal layers be pretty thick so you get that yummy granola crunch, otherwise, your cornflakes will be mushy. Continue to layer until you get to the top or run out of food. Seal it and put in the freezer for about an hour.
Be sure to rinse out the container and don't dry it. That way the top will get frozen on to the container and you have to interrupt your boyfriend in the middle of his TV show to get him to open it. Twice.
 Scoop it out and enjoy immediately so its cold and your cereal doesn't get mushy as the yogurt thaws! :)
And you can't see my chocolate chips because we had to use white ones (but they were just as good as the milk chocolate ones).

Shrimp Pasta

So LoverBoy gave me some grocery money to buy stuff to cook whatever I like so I decided to make some shrimp pasta. It was nice and fresh and yummy :) So here's what I did.
You will need:
shrimp (or other seafood)
garlic powder/salt
butter
mint
mushrooms
cream cheese
tomatoes
noodles

First, you want to decapitate/de-vein/de-leg and (thaw and) wash your shrimp. 
Mine had to defrost in some water as well; this also keeps them nice and juicy while I'm prepping my skillet.
 To cook your shrimp, you want to set a skillet on medium-high heat and melt about a quarter of a stick of butter in it and add a little garlic powder; for those of you who must measure, I would guestimate about a half a tablespoon.
I've got on black crackle nail polish over green HD by the way ;)
 Now, because shrimp kind of create their own juice to simmer in, you don't really have to worry about them burning. You can move on to your next task: preparing the sauce.

You're going to want to "dice" about five or six mushrooms (yum) annnnnnddddd
This is what happens when you don't own a cutting-board and don't trust your counter-tops: you use the egg carton box.
 .....a few leaves of mint to give it that yummy fresh smell and flavor. Don't over-due it though. Three leaves should be enough.
The mint is on the right (the rosemary on the left was for another project which you'll hear about in a few posts. I got these herbs straight from the yard. Yum.
 At this point, you can start boiling your noodles (don't forget the cooking oil or they will stick to each other!). While that's happening, get that stick of butter back out and use about half of whats left from earlier. Put it in a boiler on medium-high heat and when its melted through about a teaspoon or so of garlic powder in. Then, add a half a box of cream cheese and break it up as it melts. Do not stop stirring for more than a few seconds at a time or it will burn. It makes quite a mess. Slowly add (while stirring) about a cup and a half of milk (adding more the thinner you want the sauce to be). When you add your mushrooms and your chopped mint, it should look smooth and creamy, about like this:

At this point, your noodles are probably done, if not, turn down the heat on the sauce and continue to stir occasionally. When your noodles are done, strain and put in a big bowl, add a tad more cooking oil to ensure there is no clumping. Clumpy noodles are gross :P. Add your shrimp.

Now the skillet you cooked your shrimp in, keep that just like it is and throw in some tomatoes, the kind that are kind of cut in triangular shapes (whatever they call that). Let 'em sizzle for a bit. Stir them around every now and then.

Now, when your tomatoes have that nice "grilled tomatoes from Olive Garden" smell, toss them in with the noodles. Mix it all up, put it in the bowls and go stir your sauce yet again. Ladle the yummy sauce onto the pasta (smell it?!) and enjoy!


Of course, if my presentation were better, it wouldn't be in a Tupperware but whatever. :)









Friday, October 14, 2011

More Boring Days

Spanish test. ew. Here's to not bombing it! *glasses clink*
 The debate last night was great. I guess the guy who won kinda made sense but in all honest his argument was seriously lacking. Rebuttal was great but really didn't make up for the bad argument. The two I was betting on made great arguments, somewhat pointless though they were...
Still..
One of my friends is getting married in December and she wants me (and JerkFace Sister) to be bridesmaids. Even though I still think she should wait to get married, I've been about as forward about it as I'm going to be and I am happy for her. Somewhat envious even. So now all that's left is to find my nice dress, help get things done, support her, and make sure she's the prettiest person there (which shouldn't be too hard; her dress is gorgeous and she only paid thirty dollars!). I'm excited. I'm heading to the thrift store (don't make that face, thrift stores are God's gift to shoppers) with my mom this afternoon to just look around. I'm excited. :) I'll definitely post pictures!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

It's Raining Here

It's raining here
In this tiny town
It's raining here
It's pouring down
It's raining here
I should have bought rain boots
The End :)

This, my dear friends, is why I am not a poet.
I hustled my little bottom out to the parking lot to roll up my windows, then I raced back inside. Dripping wet. Now I'm sitting in my room , cold, eating Top Ramen and looking out my window at Mr. Sun who has decided to show up now.

I did my first two posts on The God Behind the Mask which is the blog I started that I put a link up about last night. You should check it out :) I love people who like to talk about ideas!!!

I'm having a good day. It's Thursday, tomorrow's Friday. It's nice. I have to work at 2 to 4 then I'm free today and I'm going to a debate tonight that I have looking forward to since this time last year :) Plus, LoverBoy txted me and told me that we have money to spend on groceries! COOK.ING. YAY! :D

Hope you all have a great day! I'll try to remember to take pictures of everything I cook this time!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I DID IT!

Ok I got brave and I did it! I have undertaken the journey of a lifetime and then some!

http://whoareyougod.blogspot.com/


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Home-Made Chicken Pizza

Feel very loved, because I could be watching House right now. :)
This is how you make "Poor-People Tuscan Chicken Pizza"

You will need:
Pizza Crust
Chicken (Frozen, Grilled, Whatever)
Ranch Dressing
Cheese
Sauce (to be explained in-recipe)
Other Toppings of Your Choice
Pan, Cooking Spray, Oven (or Grill, I suppose) and all other such things, like oven mitts
OPTIONAL: A Partner to buy the wrong things at the store :)

Ok so here's how you get started. Raid the fridge for anything edible. Nothing? Decide you're going to be creative and make some Tuscan Chicken Pizza because that sounds freaking delicious right now. Call your boyfriend at work and say "Baby, would you be a dear and pick some things up for me on your way home so I can cook us something good to eat?" He'll say "But by the time I get home, it will be 10 PM. Will you really want to eat then?" Politely point out that if God never intended for us to eat at night, there wouldn't be a light in the fridge; he will politely reply that our light doesn't work anyway. You will respond with "Ok sounds great! I'll text you a list! I Love you!" Then hang up and start re-rummaging the fridge for useful items.
I asked him to bring me two red tomatoes, some pesto, some mozzarella, mushrooms, crust, spinach and garlic powder. He came home with mozzarella, mushrooms and crust. Hmmmmm.

At this point, if your chicken isn't cooked (because we use frozen fillets... I know, I know.) cover it in Ranch Dressing (I don't even like ranch dressing but this works!!) and stick in the oven to cook like 90% of the way.

Start on the pizza!

When you discover that you now have no sauce, reach into that little slot in the door of the fridge and pull out all those extra packets of taco sauce from Taco Bell. Spray down the pan with cooking oil and lay in the crust (we used the uncooked kind that pop out of Pillsbury cans :) Drip the taco sauce onto the crust in a "trying to even it out" kind of way. Don't worry, if you don't have any real sauce, trust me, this came out great! (If your boyfriend actually bought you some pesto, put that on as sauce too, but don't use all of it. Pesto is great until you eat a whole jar, it's a bit too much.) Also, if you have tomatoes (woe is me!) slice them into thin round slices and lay them on too! Tomatoes are SO GOOD when they are warn and cooked! (Someone remind me to tell you guys how to make baked "fried" green tomatoes! I know, it sounds horrible, but they are so good! I could eat them all day!)

Lay on the cheese. LOTS of cheese!! Then add as many mushrooms as you can possibly fit onto the pizza. Then add like 10 more. Save a few for omelets in the morning. :) YUM. Next, since the chicken isn't done yet, decide that you need more toppings....hmmmm. Oh I know! Get out that thin turkey sandwich lunch meat and rip it into little pieces and put it all over the place, and some bacon too. Bacon makes everything better!  (We were lucky enough to have some pre-cooked bacon that LoverBoy's roomie had bought, yay! no burnt bacon!). Put about as much bacon as you did mushrooms, if not more. But save some of that for omelets in the morning too!

Get the yummy, ranch drenched chicken out of the oven and cut it into pieces. Sprinkle it over the pizza. Think about how freaking good this would be if you had your darn tomatoes! Then, if you have garlic or garlic powder, sprinkle some of that over the top and some more cheese if you'd like.

Put the oven on about 475 and cook until the edges of the crust turn a nice golden brown (10-15 minutes) and when it comes out, give it a minute or two to cool so it doesn't fall apart when you cut it, then cut it and relish! :) This is an awesome pizza! When I get LoverBoy's camera, I'll put up the picture :)

I have no idea how many calories are in it, and I don't want to.
CAUTION: If you have a three month old blood hound puppy, he will try to kill you to get to this pizza. Please be careful, he likes to eat and he's a devil dog (but I'm sure you love him anyway) :)

Monday, October 10, 2011

Dante & Me

Ever seen Marley & Me? Great movie. If you haven't, you really should. It's really funny, sad ending and family friendly. But that dog. I can't decide if I'm smug about having a movie star's offspring or just annoyed. Dante is the worst dog ever. I'll be posting pictures later and a video to prove it! Oh, and LoverBoy and I made (mostly me, but he got the chicken out of the oven :D ) chicken alfredo. It was so freaking good. I used less milk and made the sauce thicker this time. YUM. I'll put that recipe up soon too. Tonight, I'm thinking a how-to for chicken pizza. We have a lot of frozen chicken... :)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

It's Like Some Big Secret...

...at least, just from me.
SOMEONE is reading this... Who are you? :) I mean, don't get me wrong, it's exciting to think that my life is interesting enough for someone to read about (I mean really, that is freaking cool), but the curiosity is getting the better of me here :)
So I found out yesterday that I don't have to work this morning after all (which is freaking fantastic) but my poor boss does, so I'm thinking of cooking something so he's less grouchy next week about not having a day off. Of course, I'd be pretty darn grouchy too. I just don't want him to be grouchy at me. Ok my hot-pocket (ya hot pockets!!!) is done, so I'm going to eat and I'll be back later. Have a wonderful day you guys! :)

Friday, October 7, 2011

Sexy Shoes

So yesterday, I had a presentation to do. I don't have much self confidence, I don't have much self-esteem. When it comes to stuff like this, I don't do so well about being calm and collected. So what I did was decided that since I didn't have any confidence, I would fake it. So I put on my sexy shoes.
And I strut. And I rocked the world. So, I held my head up higher, I had guys actually stop and look at me and watch me walk by, I kicked butt on my presentation, and I felt so great. Then, at the end of the day, I fell down the stairs. It was sooooo funny! XD But oh my gosh, it hurt. But whatever. I didn't die :) It was worth it.

Then today, I been trying to keep that attitude up. Even though the apartment bit seems to be falling through, I been having a great day. I opened my mailbox today and found a check! YAY! :) That was nice. And my boss took me to look at the apartment today, even though, well you know. So that was fun. It was really nice too! Very cute and it would just be so darn nice! :D But we'll see.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you guys about my victory :)

Another victory I just won: She and SuperEgo left the room because I'm playing comedy central too loud. I mean come on, it's not like I'm vacuuming or slamming doors or yelling while you're writing a paper after you promised your boyfriend wouldn't even be here. Silly.
>:) 

"Fall" in Love With...My Corny Puns :)

See, I'm so excited that the weather is changing, I can't help but say awful things like that ;) It feels sooooo good outside. I stayed with LoverBoy yesterday. It was nice. We took the dog for a walk (or rather, he took me; this is impressive because he's only about three months old...), we went to Petsmart and got some nail clippers and a doggie harness because he pulls on his collar til he chokes himself when he's on a leash. Anyway, then we went to his house and watched an hour long comedy act on youtube. The guy was funny but he was racist as all get out. I don't care what you think, but black people are just as (if not more...) racist as white people, who are just as racist as Asian people, who are just as racist as Hispanic people and so on and so forth. Everybody has hate, so just because you're a different shade of tan than me don't play like I'm a racist JUST BECAUSE I'm a different shade of tan than you are. Just sayin'. I don't like racism and I REALLY don't like racism when it's pretending to not be what it is. Anyway, but his non-race based jokes were funny.
We also talked about the apartment. It looks like it's not going to happen. Which makes me soooo sad. But I'm trying to be optimistic.

I'm reminding myself that my joy is about who I am, not what I have.

So, even though I'm not thrilled about this (because I'm stuck in this dorm room with her and SuperEgo and that attitude, and I was looking forward to having something of my own, and kind of the fact that I would be living next door to my boss lol), I'm just going to be positive. It'll all work out one way or the other and I have too much other stuff to be thankful for. Did I tell you about my sexy-shoes yesterday? I'll have to write again tonight and tell you about that! It was GREAT!!!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

This One is a Mess

So I'm awful because I should really be working on some Spanish, but I just get like this...well, alot lately. I feel so behind that I get overwhelmed and don't know where to start. I have my good studious intentions then I aimlessly browse the internet and, apparently, blog about it. I don't even really have much to talk about. Got up, went to work, went to class, got an 85 (....-_-....) on my test, came back to my room. B. says he won't be moving in with me when I move out because if he moves out in December, they will charge him a penalty fee of $250. That sucks, but at the same time, I think he would still be saving money... I don't know. I'm going to try to keep the discussion open simply because I don't think I can bear living here anymore. I could always find another willing roomie I suppose.... I just don't know who to ask. I don't have any girlfriends. At least, not any I'd want to live with. My automatic first thought would always have been my sister, but since she's the person (or one of the two) I'm try to escape from so desperately, I don't think that would work. What I can say though, is that I believe she's talked SuperEgo into moving out of his dad's house because she heard me talking about an apartment... If he moves into the same apartment building.... can I get a restraining order on people for being jackasses? Pardon my language, please. But that's a completely serious question.
Anyway, so I'm really considering still moving out in December..it's just that from December to June, I can't pay for it alone. I HAVE to get a roommate. I'm even so desperate as to consider paying B.'s $250 to get him to move in with me (though I know I won't), perhaps if I pay the security deposit then we'll be even. I don't really think that it's completely fair to make him pay a security deposit on a place he may only be staying in for 6 months anyway... If I paid the start up fees on all the bills and the security deposit, I wonder if then he would be willing.. I'm asking him. I'm pretty sure he'd still be saving money and I just....I just have to get out of here. What I am worried about is if I move out now, will she say (or not tell me at all) that she's not going to room with me after this year. I need that money, I can't afford it without the money from my room refund.
And yes, I do think she would screw me over like that. I don't doubt it at all. Even though she would be gaining by it, I still am completely sure that she would be stupid and malicious and screw me over just out of spite because she doesn't think to do the math. And my question is: WHAT do you have to be spiteful to ME about?! Honestly, I have no idea. I know I have been bitchy, but anyone would considering the crap they've been putting me through. So I'm not even sorry about it.
Sometimes, I wish I could just pull out the right amount of money every time I paid for something. I'd never have to worry about being broke or not being able to do what I wanted. No, money doesn't buy happiness or love or freedom or any of those really important things, but as long as you use it and don't let it use you, it sure doesn't hurt to have it. Maybe it's a good thing I don't have any money. Maybe if I were rich, I would be a jerk. I don't think so, but maybe if I had never known what it is to not have money, I wouldn't appreciate it anyway. So I guess it's a blessing that I know I can live without it and I know that it's a tool, not a way of life.
On another note: my other blog, if I start it, which I'm thinking I might, is going to be about religion. And don't make that face. That's not what I mean. I'm not preaching at anyone. I need people to preach at me. I just think that there HAS to be SOMEONE out there SOMEWHERE who's like me: who doesn't know the answers anymore and needs to find them, who is tired of people telling her why one thing is good and another thing is bad and not telling her why, who wants to know who God is and not just how to behave, who wants to truly test religion (all of them) and see if they are actually true, who doesn't want what "works for me" but what truly is. There has to be someone out there like that...who isn't insane and hosting a suicide cult.... So I'm probably going to do it. How I'm going to manage three blogs (my second is: Muse Ten Reviews and you should check it out if you like :) it's book reviews and such but for people writing papers it is very helpful and also there are going to be some other things, like video games and such once it's gotten pretty well established), I don't know. But its just so important to me to do this. I feel like I'm on this journey and there doesn't seem to be any end to it. I mean, how can I do this alone? How can I really, honestly do this at all? I need to write it. But (of all the things for me to be concerned about) what do I call it...?

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Me, Me and More Me

Gosh, I'm so egotistical ;)
So two things:
1. I've just been informed that when hiring, a blog is fair game for employers to base hiring choices on. This is a very controversial topic, as some would like to defend their privacy or say that it makes it easier for companies to discriminate without admitting that that's what they're doing. Well, here's what I have to say to that: yes.
It is fair game. And it does make discrimination easier.
Boo-hoo. You put it out there in public, anyone can read it. That's not a violation of privacy. Same goes for me. Perhaps one day an employer will choose to not hire me because I said something on this blog--about my personal life, my religious preferences, my politics--that they don't like or agree with. Well, fine. I put it out there. I know people can read it. I'm taking that risk. I deserve to have this medium of expression if that's what I want (and it is) and no one will take that from me by threatening not to hire me. Let me make this clear: so long as I am the only one affected by it, if you don't like me for who I am, I don't care. I don't like you either. That's ok. Honestly, if I had a family depending on me and the only way to feed them was to stop posting on this blog, well of course I would. But just to make somebody like me or think I'm right for the job by pretending to be someone I'm not...well that's lying to my employer, my clients and everyone else. And I'm not into that. I'm hard working, I'm qualified (and will be) for what I do (and will do) and I'm a good person (though I make lots of mistakes just like lots of other good people). If there's something an employer needs that I don't fulfill then they shouldn't hire me, I would be the same way if I were hiring. That's life and I'm ok with it. This is me and I can work. I'm going to be the exact same person in an interview as I am on my blog, my facebook, my home, whatever. I don't change to make others happy or to deceive them. Ask my current boss. He knows me and he loves (in a boss-ly way) anyway. He knows I do my best and I love my job and he appreciates me for who I am. He gets that each employee is different and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. He's a great boss.
So a note from me to any future employers: I will do my job. Well. I will not complain about going to work (more than once every six months or so). I will not "fluff" my resume to include things I "technically" did (say for example, "did legal work for three months at ______ ______ Courthouse" when all I did was "volunteered for the summer at _____ ____ Courthouse to assist legal workers with paperwork, filing, secretarial tasks and court hearing overviews"). I want to be hired for the person and worker I am and can grow to be, NOT the person I am not and will have to pretend to be (while providing unsatisfactory work to my employers, clients, etc.) until I get fired for not doing my job correctly because I'm not even really qualified for it. I will NEVER play a race, gender, religious discrimination card. So when you interview me, you'll get me. But I can promise, you'll like what you see. And you'll want to hire me. I'll earn that. And when you hire me, twenty years down the road, you'll wonder how you ever got along without me.
2. For any general readers: I'm considering making (yet another) blog. I need an outlet for one specific thing and I'm really really thinking it would be a great idea to blog about because I want other people's opinions. Problems? Nobody reads this thing so who's going to read and comment on my other one? How can I get opinions if people don't read it?

Monday, October 3, 2011

All I Know is I Have to Get Out

I never knew I would come to detest my sister, my own sister, so much. It's amazing. I mean, before we moved in together, I knew this was going to happen: I knew OMGS (he's been demoted to SuperEgo, an idea he gave me ever so conveniently) would be here or she would be gone all the time, no matter how concerned she SAID she was about me, it wouldn't matter after we moved in. It probably didn't matter before either, actually. But aside from all the horrible, stupid things they've done (like her sending him in here when they both knew I wasn't dressed), I knew they would be obnoxious. I guess, since I expected their behavior for the most part, that's why I didn't realize how I would react to it. I never dreamed I would come to...to almost hate them....so much. I don't even think it's almost. I think I really hate them, the least little bit. I mean, the sending him in when you both knew I wasn't dressed thing....THAT was the point of no return I think. I mean I don't want to be unforgiving for what would seem to normal people, I suppose, like a minor offense. But she KNEW it wasn't minor. And it was so stupid that I can't even begin to comprehend what they were thinking if it was anything other than malicious intent. I think that if that hadn't happened, maybe I could go on for the next four years and pretend they were jerks but it was ok. Maybe I'd invite him to come with her to my wedding and I would go to hers. Maybe we'd go to each other's  houses for holidays and babysit each other's children. Maybe, years down the road, we'd still be friends, we'd still be sisters. But we're not. They crossed the line. They more than crossed it. I can't ever pretend they didn't do that. I can't make myself get over it, forget about it, I can't even beg myself to forgive them. It's like my anger and resentment toward them, especially for that, are gearing me in a direction I don't want myself to go, but I don't have the steering wheel any more. And I don't think I care. I don't care if the relationship is a one way train ride to hell or if she has a miserable marriage because she's acting like an idiot. I don't care if he does horribly on all his English papers (because he write terribly) and flunks out of college and can't rent her a trailer to live in. I don't care if they have personal problems, academic problems, religious problems, whatever. I don't care. I just want to get away from them.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

6 Minutes

That's how long I have to write this. I've been subconsciously putting off studying for this test all afternoon and now I feel like crap because I'm thinking of how prepared I would be for the test by now and how I could blog like a crazy persona and then go straight to bed. But I can't. So in five minutes at 10 PM I WILL study and then at eleven or when I'm fully prepared (whichever comes first) I am going to bed (unless I become "un-tired" by then). Apartment hunting, going pretty well, just got to work out some details with Lover Boy but he's still sick so the talking isn't happening so much but we did have a nice long talk last night about how we are going to start compromising more. So I'm happy with what I've got right now. Also, apparently, I got like 28 page views today, which is amazing. Up until this point, someone only accidentally stumbled across this thing every now and then but that's fine. I mean it's a personal blog so you all probably don't find it all that interesting but I adore the documentation of trivial (and not so trivial) moments of my life. So even if nobody reads this, I'm happy enough that it's here. :) Time to go. One minute to post and get offline. Have a nice night! :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

So I Have to Acquire a Horse, a Gun and a Stylish New Coat

This is my problem when it comes to creative blog post titling: I get ideas that are just barely related to what I'm going to talk about then new ideas (ones that are even less related) spring from those. All this over a post title. So real quick, before I actually blog about anything, I'm going to explain the title.
I'm writing this one about apartment hunting and for some weird reason, I thought of foxhunting type hunting. So I thought "Well I'll title it 'I'm Taking the Dogs Out Today for a Bit of Hunting'" and then I thought, well I'll call it "the title I have up" because when I started thinking about the foxhunting I googled it and got all interested and found this cute coat and blah blah blah. So here's the coat and a cute little vest I would wear under it (if I could afford such luxuries):
RJC2011_Lds_7044.jpg  RJC_Lds_Aiken_Tattersall.jpg
Yes, I know they're for fox hunting, but whatever. I'd wear them. Often.
Time to get on with the blog post!

I'm apartment hunting! :D
I have to get an apartment next year anyway to keep Dante while Loverboy is gone for the year, so I started asking around a bit. I've found a very nice possibility and was strongly considering moving in earlier just to ensure I would be able to get a room and to get out of this one. The thought of all the money I COULD save if I waited til next year was making me sick, so I was questioning myself. I'm not big on renting. You invest and get no return at all. And yet, I want something of my own. Something that's mine. Only. I want a chance to live by myself and do things the way I want to. If only I could afford a fixer upper, I would be thrilled. But anyway, like I said, I was doubting whether or not to go ahead and get it for December or wait because of the money I could save. I mean, think of it! I would save about $300 dollars a month by not renting and just living on campus. I could save for my wedding, for my Master's degree, for my house! The only reason I'm considering it at all is because I'll have to get one when he leaves and what if there isn't one available then? August is when all the students come back and try to find places to live... Nobody is looking in December. And from December to June is only 6 months, so I would only save....$1200?...Holy crap, that just made me much more hesitant. But in June, when Loverboy's lease is up, he said he's move up here. Of course, I don't want him to move in with me though.... I mean I do. But I don't. I dont want to play house. If he Loves me, then he won't ask me to. But we're talking about it. I'll keep you updated! :)

Monday, September 26, 2011

Are You as Broke as I Am?

Cause I am pretty darn broke. But let me tell you about this. This site will offer you free, legit services that will rock your world! I've been using it since my freshman year of high school! They match you up with schools, scholarships, grants, any type of financial aid available and bring you the information! The keep up with the deadlines!!! I mean HOLY CRAP! That's so awesome! If you need money for school (ie: housing, new computer, books, tuition, groceries, ANY education related expense) it's here!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Seriously. Just saying.
And I need to stop complaining so much. So, to rectify my just written, horrible grouchy post about my annoying sister and her even more annoying boyfriend, I have decided I must write a post entirely (except for that last clause...) of optimism and happy things. Here we go...

Photo Albums Made of Text
(I decided to title this part just because, like I said, I've been slacking off on the creative name coming up with part of this whole experience). So.
Number One: I decided to start yet another project, but it's not going to officially start until my anniversary in October. I'm going to make a book of 365 reasons (one for every day of the year) why I Love Mr. Ireland. :) Mushy Gushy and stuff, I know. But I think it will work out well. So when I get done with this, I'm going to try to get a head start and write a few down. That way, when we are fighting or something and I don't really feel like doing it because I'm in a bad mood, I will still have something to work with (because let's admit it, sometimes, your partner just sucks lol).
So that will be fun.
Proposition number two: I'm going to focus on the new puppy. How can you be anything but happy around a puppy?! So tomorrow, after I get off work, I'm going to go with Ireland and Dante to the Petsmart. :) I've always wanted to be one of the people who take their doggie inside. I also need to make a name tag for him and look into apartments around campus that let you have pets. That way, if Lover Boy has to leave for deployment, I can keep Dante.
Numero tres: I got my homework in on time tonight. :)
Number four: I already feel a bit better about this whole thing (even though, it still isn't ok, of course...)
Number five: I'm thinking about how lucky I am to have, not a guy LIKE mine, but mine. :) I'm just so....glad. I can't even express what it is to Love him, it's just so intense. Sometimes it's heat and sometimes it's a soft cool breeze; sometimes it's passionate and sometimes it's sweet; sometimes it's like the old couple everyone wants to be like and sometimes it's like that new couple in high school that are cute and can't keep their hands off each other; sometimes it just overtakes me in the middle of the night and I just need him there with me so I can hug him and tell him how thankful I am that he's mine, how sorry I am for all the mistakes I've made and how completely I forgive him for the ones he's made. It's a beautiful thing, wouldn't trade it for the whole world and all the things I ever thought I wanted.
Number six: It's almost time to go to sleep and sleep is so, so sweet.
Number seven: Lover Boy is coming up tomorrow (hopefully) and is bringing Dante.
Number eight: I have a cold soda. :) yum.
Number nine: my computer course instructor is considering making us create a blog for credit. Cha-ching. Ahead of the game baby.
Number ten: newly cut, wet grass is one of the best smells in the world. Even better than air conditioning in summertime.
Eleven: I have an awesome jacket that I got for $20.
Twelve: My boss complimented me on my work yesterday. :D Booyah.
Thirteen: I'm going to stop counting so I can make a "quantity is not as important as quality" point :)

I dyed my hair again last night and missed a huge spot but you can't tell!
My internet is actually working!
I think I've worked out enough that I can find a pair of rain boots to fit my legs!
I found a cute little plastic raccoon at church that I named Mushi and put on my window sill! He's adorable and holding an apple!
Even though I won't do it very often, I can skip class whenever I want to!!!
I have a scholarship.
My boyfriend is amazing. I just thought of yet another reason why that is true.
Fresh pencils are fabulous. So is pretty paper.
Does anybody else like easy mac as much as I do?
I own some plastic maracas.
I feel way less grouchy/complain-y now.
My StumbleUpon account is one of the best internet things to ever happen to me.
There is God and I truly believe He Loves me, even during times like this.
I'm alive and healthy, even though I complain.
I'm free.
I'm in Love.
I'm Loved.
I'm kinda funny :)
I'm actually not counting.
I'm ready to go to sleep :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Past Up to Here

Ok. I've had it. I've HAD it.
O.M.G.S. needs to get out of my room. Tell me this is not INSANITY:
He is here, every night, until AT LEAST 11 PM.
He is here every day, from about four.
He is in this room when neither I nor SHE are in here.
He was talking to her (AT WORK) on a WEBCAM at EIGHT FREAKING AM this morning WHILE WE WERE DRESSING, and she apparently didn't think this worth mentioning to me while I was brushing my teeth or changing my clothes or asking if you could see my panda covered underwear through my dress!
Are you really freaking serious?! What do you people think this is? A show girl act?! It's our ROOM! Our only place of privacy! And you are not only annoying the bad word out of me by having his presence saturate every single moment of what should be my alone time, you are getting mad at ME for being mad about it! How much more blunt do I have to be than "Don't screw around while I'm IN THE ROOM and he can't be in here all the time"?? Do I have to have the idiotic boy (BOY) kicked out of the building?! I mean holy freaking crap!
Don't say it. Don't you dare say "Just have a sit down and calmly discuss the issue with them; use lots of 'I messages.'" I tried that. At first I hinted, very subtly. Then I hinted, not so subtly. Then I talked to them separately, and of course, got assurance from both of them that there would no longer be a problem. Then, when there was still a problem, I talked to the together, very calmly. I again, was reassured that there would no longer be a problem. We'll go to his house on Tuesdays and Thursdays, they say (well at least that's SOMETHING, but I can't deal with this crap even three days of the week). There was, of course, still a problem. Then I talked to them separately again, with the same results. Then I started acting like a bitch. I mean telling random, practically strangers (to them at least) about their pitiful excuse of a sex life and how obnoxious they were RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM should have, surely, made them understand that they needed to freaking chill. But did it? OF COURSE NOT!
I'm exasperated. He's mad because I'm not sharing my sodas. Well, first of all, I would have if you had helped me carry them. But no, we walked back from the store and not only had I just paid full price (didn't half it with sissy of course, that would have been a financial burden to little miss I-have-to-pay-no-bills), but I carried them the whole back and it was raining. Is a carton of canned sodas really that heavy? no, it's manageable, but I'm tiny and I have no upper body strength and it would have been nice for someone (who was supposed to a freaking marine, yeah right, pitiful little whiny cockroach) to offer when I was so obviously struggling with the stupid thing. But whatever, don't even LOOK at my carton of soda.
I'm past trying to be mature about it. They're both driving me crazy and she doesn't even care that not only is he a total jackass, she's closely following in his footsteps. Well, if she doesn't care, I sure as heck don't have to. The stupid sister-type relationship can dissolve into the abyss for all I care. Then I don't have to ever invite his stinking tail over for Christmas and that is just FINE with me! I'm to the point that if I could move out, I would. The ONLY reason I haven't just marched my little hiney up to Housing is because I paid just as much for this room as she did (as opposed to the fact that HE paid nothing, therefore this is not his room, therefore he needs to get the bad word out of it) and my stuff and myself has just as much right to be here as she does. So SHE can leave if it comes to that.
I don't think it's too much to ask to have some privacy in your own room that you paid for. I mean I give them PLENTY of time to themselves. Do I ever get ANY alone time with my guy here? No. Do I ever get any alone time period? No. Can I ever actually sleep without hearing his stupid ringtone go off every five minutes all night every night and at 6-8 AM every single morning? No. Does she even bother to close the door quietly when she leaves to go see the creeping mother cusser? No. No she does not. She slams the freaking door every single morning. I don't want maturity anymore. I want vengeance. Petty vengeance. If anyone has any ideas how to drive them crazy without being able to be blamed for it, please share. >:)

I don't care. I know I'm being mean and a bit irrational but I don't care. They are horses' rears.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Dante

We got a puppy!!! WE GOT A PUPPY!!
He's soooo adorable. He's a bloodhound and his name is Dante. He's about two months old. We got him Saturday night and he has been having such a good time. Lover Boy has definitely got a "new puppy owner" side; he will never admit it but I caught him talking puppy talk to Dante last night. He (the puppy) also LOVES to snuggle. I just can't even tell you how much I love this dog! I'll keep you filled in :)
It was also Lover Boy's birthday, so I tried this cupcake recipe with cookie dough inside....well they tasted great, they just looked funny. I have (for your tummy's pleasure) included the recipe at the bottom.
So anyway, we've (I say we, but really it's supposed to be HIS dog....he says he knew better than that all along though) been looking to get a puppy, we just couldn't find one. So we looked in the mule trader (well the three pages he ripped out of one) and saw this ad for a German Shepherd/Chow mix puppy. So we called the people and got in the truck to go get the dog. It was supposed to be a fifteen minute drive. We were in the truck for two hours!! Two hours, looking for this place. Couldn't find a thing. So we went home and I was exceptionally sad and he says "Well when we get home, look again and if you see anything, call. If you find something in town, we'll go get it and if not, we'll try again tomorrow." So I looked and found ONE AD. Long shot right? I called and the woman was (actually) about ten minutes away from the house. So we drove over there and got Dante. The little girl said they couldn't keep any of the puppies but she had just got so attached to him and they had to take any that were left in the next few days to the humane society and she was just so scared about him going that we didn't even look at the other two boys; we had to take him. Of course, I would have picked him anyway :)
He's an outside dog, but we're spoiling him. He's been here two days and already he won't budge if my guy isn't right there with him and he hates being left outside by himself even though he's in a fenced in yard. He's just got to get used to a new place though.


A FEW HOURS AFTER I WROTE THIS:

Ireland (another name I've decided to give to Lover Boy so I don't have to keep typing "Lover Boy" over and over again) has officially decided that Dante is an inside dog. I knew it was going to happen. BAHAHAHAHA!!! XD
Wow. Well either way, I'm thrilled. He's a phenomenal snuggler, as I said. :)

______________________________
Cookie Dough Filled Cupcakes
You will need:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon sea salt (regular salt won't hurt!)
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
OR
instead of all the above mentioned ingredients, you can buy cookie dough like I did :D

1 (18.25 oz) box cake mix (your favorite flavor of course!)
1 1/3 cups water
1/3 cup canola oil
3 eggs
paper cupcake liners (DO NOT OMIT THESE NO MATTER HOW MUCH PAM YOU HAVE!!)

Directions:
Mix the flour, baking soda and (sea) salt together and set it aside. Beat butter, white sugar and brown sugar in a large bowl until smooth (this would probably work better with an electric mixer). Add 1 egg and the vanilla extract and beat until smooth.  Mix in flour mixture "until just incorporated" (I have no idea what THAT means; like I said, I bought cookie dough). Fold in (TONS of) chocolate chips, mixing just enough to evenly combine. Form the dough into tablespoon sized balls; place onto baking sheet and freeze until solid (about two hours). Also, you will want to make a few extra so everyone can eat a frozen ball of cookie dough (raw cookie dough is not generally recommended for infants or pregnant or nursing women) while you wait on the cupcakes to bake! :) And if you don't make your dough, but instead you just buy it like me, just roll it into a ball and freeze!

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (or 175 C; does anybody measure oven temperature with Celsius?) Line muffin cups with paper liners (this is very, VERY important! I don't care how much PAM/butter/other cooking spray/oil you used, they will stick/crumble/fall to pieces and you will have to eat them with a fork straight out of the cupcake pan).

Beat three eggs in a large bowl. Add the cake mix, water and canola oil; continue to beat for two minutes (Here, again, an electric mixer would be helpful if you own one, if not, I just poured the ingredients together and mixed until smooth with a fork). Spoon into cupcake liners, filling each 2/3 full (don't over do this part...it gets...messy) Place a frozen cookie dough ball on the top center of each cupcake.

Bake until a toothpick inserted into the cake potion of the cupcake (NOT the cookie dough part) comes out clean; about 20 minutes. Cool in pans for 20 minutes before removing completely to cool on a wire rack (OR, if you are terribly impatient for that warm cookie dough ball of gooey goodness, put it on a plate and prepare to scoop with a fork!). DO NOT OVER-BAKE. Your cupcake middles will get hard and crumbly and not so good.

Happy cup-cake eating!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I Started a New Project

First of all, let me be completely..."puppy-like:"
I Love my guy. I Love him. He's so ...imperfect. I am so glad :)
I mean for those of you who say "My 'so-and-so' is perfect; they have no faults; everything about them is wonderful." YOU are either lying or stupid. Maybe stupid is too harsh. Disillusioned at least.
His faults are what make him perfect for me. But you better believe he has them and I don't always like them. Just like I have my own and he SURE doesn't always like them. But I'm glad.

Anyway, my project: I've started writing letters to myself in a journal in case I ever get amnesia. When I started I was thinking about all the things that had happened to me, but then I couldn't really get it all out on paper. I had a hard time because when I put the pen to the page, so much of it was questionable. Did I WANT to remember this if I had a choice? Would not remembering things change who I am? Would I, myself, disintegrate into some other girl who wouldn't be like me, love the things I love or eat the things I eat? What if I left something out. But so much of it just wasn't... there just wasn't a reason to write it down. A fresh new start. But how much of it gets to be new and fresh and how much of it do I owe myself to remember, how would it change things?

So you might think that's silly, but it really makes you think about what's important to you and what makes you...you, as a person. It's something to think about at least. Maybe I'll post the letters someday...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

We Face Things

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death...
So, I don't know if I already told you this, but I decided to stop ignoring Bugs. NOT because what they did was ok, because it WAS NOT. But I love her, and I won't let anybody's stupidity come between us (be it his, hers or even mine). So I told her so. I explained all that I just said to her. And what happens that night? Up comes O.M.G.S. and into the sack they go. Really? Like they couldn't wait fifteen minutes for me to go to work? Whatever. I don't know how I'm going to deal with this but one way or another, this is going to get dealt with.
But on another not, Love Boy came yesterday and it was so nice. It's days like yesterday when I can tell myself he Loves me and actually believe it. Other days, I let him say it. Because it makes him feel better for me to hear it. But...I just tell myself the truth on those days, after I go up to my room alone. But yesterday he came. We drove through the wind and the rain and got soaking wet and he brought me a pink plastic yard flamingo. I know you don't get it, but it's so sweet. 

Featherstone: "And I am PINK!"

But, as the name of the post dictates, there was another reason I had for writing. Lately (amazing since it's been only two weeks) I've been wondering if maybe college just isn't for me. I mean, I love to learn. I love writing papers (yeah, I know...). I like college and I want the career path that I can get only with a degree. But I'm just so... I don't really know. I thought having Bugs here would make things better than they were last year, but... I'm still just so sad and scared and I feel like a failure all the time. It makes me wonder if maybe college just isn't for me. I mean, it's not that I haven't adjusted to life, I mean this is my second year here, I get it by now. I really don't; I really don't know what's wrong with me. It's not the depression. I know that much. I remember the depression and it wasn't this easy. My stomach is ALWAYS in nervous knots, I feel lonely and I just wish he would stay up here with me. I mean let's be honest: we started the counseling to prepare for the things we would face as a married couple; but do you want to know what I really think? Why I think we really decided to stop going? He's not going to marry me. He's not. The way he's acting lately only makes sense if you put it in that context: He is not going to marry me. I don't know what changed. I really don't. It was this all of a sudden thing and it just...changed but the thing is I don't even know what it was that changed.

And yet, even though its becoming more and more obvious to me that he isn't going to marry me, he comes to see me and spend time with me and gets me a pink plastic flamingo. I don't really understand that, but what choice do I have? "You can leave," you say. No. I can't. And I never would. Why would I walk away and leave my soul standing there looking at me? I don't care what anybody thinks in this front: I Love him. And nothing matters in comparison to that. So no, I would never even consider leaving. But I just wish I knew what was going on with him.

But over the last few days, I've seen us (myself, him, Bugs even O.M.G.S.) face some things that people just shouldn't have to. It seems like there should be some way to prevent the unfairness of things that people have to deal with. And don't give me that load of crap about how "Life isn't fair." No. It's not. That doesn't mean you play off the fact with the statement. Saying "Well, life's not fair." doesn't make you a better person for stating the truth to someone who doesn't need it at that moment. An 8 year old kid hasn't eaten in three days and you wanna say "Sorry, kid. Life ain't fair, maybe you'll get something to eat tomorrow." There are some things people just shouldn't have to face, but they do. Every day. Everyone is a hero for that. Hopefully, we all have someone to lean on and get a hug from in those times. I do...


...I will fear no evil, for You are with me.