Thursday, March 29, 2012

I Wanna Talk

I'm just in that mood where I want to talk. I want to write. I want to research everything I care about, learn the whole world and talk about it. For a long, long time. But right now, right this moment, what do I have to say? Not much.

Three good things:
I met a freaking awesome girl today.
I don't have to go to two of my classes tomorrow.
I had some pink lemonade sherbet (which is the ultimate fruity ice cream).

No bad things.
No bad things.
No bad things.
Hide bad things.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Number Five

5. I never know what to say about me.

Ha ha ha! you're thinking! YOU is the only person you ever talk about!
Yes, you're right. My blog, my life, I get to do that. But seriously, when people ask you "what are you like? What three words best describe you? Bla bla bla" do you have any idea how to answer?

I don't. I don't know how I am at all. Sometimes, I surprise myself in a good way but sometimes...

If you don't like who are and you want to change something about yourself (ie "such and such feels that he is too shy and wants to be more outgoing) is that being fake? or is that just self-help? Whats the difference anyway?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I Made a Post Worth Reading

Wow. That was a first, huh?

It's not that I don't care about politics and religion and all. I do. And I even love arguing about it. I just need somewhere to vent and this is where I do this. My post about Lesko does not make this the new "political place to be." Not by a long shot. I'm still going to rant about my life. So please don't expect any different. This isn't a TV program for entertaining anyone.
But thanks for stopping by and all.

Debbie Lesko and the "Whore Pills"

So let me just go ahead and clarify a few things:
1. I am not a political expert. This is my opinion.
2. This is a blog post, not a newsroom banter table.
Those things being said, do not come back at me with my own words or yours. I'll own what I say because I did my research before I opened my mouth but if you have nothing better to do than google or stumble upon this and complain to me, go away.

The Basic Bill HB2625
So lets dissect this.
First let's start off with Lesko.
According to, paid for by the "Re-Elect Debbie Lesko Committee" and plastered with photos of her fulfilling her patriotic duties, she is a happily married woman with three children. That's nice. She's pretty. Big smile. Seems to like kids. (Ha ha see what I did there?)
She doesn't seem like some psycho crazy politician. And yet...
I'm really not saying she is. I'm being a little harsh on her because I'm angry but I genuinely don't believe many people wake up saying "I'm going to tick off America today." And I don't think she did either. I think she just took something too far.

But let's be real. This bill is crap.

In a nutshell (although I 100% strongly encourage you to read the bill for yourself instead of just taking it from me) HB2625 states that if you are a religious employer or a secular employer who has a moral problem with using contraceptives for birth control than you can choose to not cover the cost of it in any health insurance plan for an employee who uses it (you may require a doctor's note saying that the contraceptives are for acne or hormones; I suppose that's so the employer can pretend to rest easy with their conscious clear at night). You may also fire them if they pay for contraceptives with any other source, be it private insurance outside your work place or cash.
Her thing is that she doesn't want to force employers to offer or accept something that they feel is morally wrong. Now I am SO COOL with not forcing people to deal with things that they think are morally wrong BUT I have a few issues with this.
First of all, who thinks that the government should stay out of people's bedrooms (heterosexual or homosexual) in the first place and deal with the economy, the sex trafficking in "our own beloved, free country," the poverty of so many, the death of sick children, world hunger, ANYTHING that a government should be doing? I mean the function of a government is to handle things that the people cannot handle themselves. We can handle who we sleep with and how many kids we want (although I might not protest to making people take parenting classes or something before they can have kids; I'm so tired of crap parents...). The government needs to butt out of people's personal lives and focus on doing it's freaking job. They sure get paid enough.
Second of all: birth control is not the same as abortion. Whether you are pro-choice or pro-life, you are an idiot if you think preventing pregnancy is on the same level as abortion. If that were the case, then you're all mass serial killers because every sperm or egg you've ever produced would have to become a baby. Swallow that. I am a firm supporter of birth control. For some people, it is a medical danger for them to be pregnant. For other people, they are intelligent enough to know that they don't actually want kids, that they can't take care of a kid or that they just aren't ready for one yet. It seems that people don't want the option of birth control because it will give other "bad" people reason to have crazy promiscuous sex all day every day. Let me tell you something: I'm all for waiting for that person. But if someone is going to have sex, they are 9 times out of 10 going to have sex whether they have birth control or not. And I for one would rather they just have it because I see no reason to bring yet another child into this world who isn't wanted or can't be taken care of or whatever the case may be. I am not saying all teen moms are crap; all I'm saying is that if they made a mistake, I'd rather see consequences prevented in the first place than aborted later or miserable even later.
Lastly, let's be realistic: you can't make everybody happy all the time. Either the employer has to be unhappy or the employee has to be unhappy. I, personally, think that no employee's basic health insurance coverage should be lessened because of what the employers "feels." No employer has the right to decide those kinds of things (whether B.C. is right or wrong, whether someone needs kids, can't have sex anymore, etc.) for an employee. Period. And I'm not saying you shouldn't stand by what you believe in; if you think B.C. is wrong, fine. Stand by that. Own it. But do not try to make my choices for me. You shouldn't lessen basic healthcare and then on top of that, threaten or even be allowed to threaten to fire someone for getting it another way that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with you or your company. If you simply can't tolerate the thought that someone is working for you who uses birth control, opt out of offering healthcare and be prepared for people to find better jobs. I will not sacrifice my body, my time, the rest of my life just to make you feel like you fulfilled some religious duty that had nothing to do with you to begin with.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Number Four

4. I'm religiously challenged.

Like you have no idea. And I can't even yell "I'm an atheist" and forget about it. Oh no! I kinda wish I could sometimes so then I wouldn't have to think about it. But I was raised Christian and even though I have some problems with it there are a lot of problems I have without it too. Right now, I technically consider myself an agnostic, but I lie to my mom about it because she just can't handle it. I told her I was getting another tattoo yesterday and she freaked out about how I'm "getting farther and farther away from God and hate going to church." I'm tired of hearing it.
I just don't think it is fair that people are brought into existence with no regard to the fact that they never even asked for it and now all of a sudden they have to guess which religion is right and if you get it wrong: HELL FOR YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY! BURN, BABY, BURN!
Not fair.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Number Three

3. I fucking hate my boyfriend's friends.

Not too much explanation needed. They are loud and obnoxious potheads who don't do anything but get stoned, mess up the house and make it stink. The girl is married to boy #1 and sleeping with boy #2 who is by #1's "best friend" and of course, when they come in, WE have to leave. It's not like they have any fucking thing better to do than be loud and obnoxious so I have to make way. They eat all the food, drink everything and then some, throw garbage all over the place and pee in the fucking floor but I have to go to another room. Right.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Number Two

2. Sometimes, I want more from the man.

I mean, don't get me wrong: I Love him. Loverboy is my soul mate. I can easily imagine life without him and I never want to go there. But sometimes...

  • Try to (or succeed in) make(ing) me jealous. EVER. This will backfire. Soooooooo badly.
  • Lie to me. About anything.
  • Try to make me feel lousy. If I'm wrong about something, tell me so but don't make me feel bad just for the hell of it.
  • Tell another woman that "I'd love to but I have a girlfriend." Not if you keep that up, you don't.
  • Give up on me when I'm being difficult.
  • Act like you're better than me because: a) you know stuff about my family. I know stuff about yours too. b) you "aren't as rich" as me. My family is just as broke, I worked my ass off to get into college and my family has worked hard for what little we have. c) your life has been "harder" than mine. Everybody has a story, including the two of us; do not downplay my hardships unless you want me to mock yours. d) you know how to change the oil in a car. I know how to do calculus AND I know how to manipulate men into changing the oil in my car FOR me. We can be good at different things; you don't have to be a dick about it.


  • When I say "What are we gonna do today?" I don't want to hear "I don't know; you pick something." I want to hear "You just wait! I've got a great surprise planned!"
  • When we are sitting on the couch watching a movie, I want him to start a play fight with me and stop acting like we're a couple of old farts.
  • I want a bouquet. Of fucking TULIPS.
  • I want you to tell me what a bitch I'm acting like. (Use this with caution...)
  • I want you to admit what a bitch you're acting like. And say you're sorry. And mean it. And show it.
  • I want you to figure it out your own damn self. 

All the time:

  • When I ask "What do you think about this?" I don't want to hear "I don't know; what do you think?" I want to hear "I love it! That's a great..." or "I don't think that's a good..."
  • When I say "I'm fine." I don't want to hear "fine then." I want to hear "No, you're not" as he wraps his arms around me.
  • I don't want you to make me jealous of other women, I want you to make other women jealous of me. As in: open the fucking door for me. Do you have any idea how many brownie points you get for that one simple thing?! Stop acting like you're too good to be a fucking gentleman.
  • I want you to quickly remind said women that you are unavailable and actually, no, you wouldn't be interested if only you didn't have girlfriend; you're not interested because you Love me, not because you're stuck with me.
  • I want you to ask me what I think and actually TAKE THAT INTO CONSIDERATION.
  • Pick your battles more wisely. You don't have to beat up the guy who looked at you funny in the parking lot; you do have to say something to the guy who was a jerk to me.
  • Tell me when you just can't figure me out. Just ask me.
None of this is to say that he doesn't do anything right. I mean of course he does.

Awesome Things About My Guy Include
but are not limited to:
  • He is so insanely thoughtful. Twice, little things he's done because of something I mentioned in passing almost made me bawl my eyes out.
  • He lets me hang onto him for dear life during scary movies.
  • He really, sincerely wants me to play video games with him and is very patient (and amused) when I get stuck in a closet somewhere and can't figure out how to get out.
  • He actually encourages my crazy, sporadic hobbies and projects even when they are totally unrealistic or unlikely to be finished.
  • He is terrible at keeping surprises a secret and watching him get mad when I guess my present is ADORABLE.
  • He's a ginger.
  • He thinks I'm beautiful even when I need a shower. Like badly.
  • He has pretty awesome taste in TV shows. Except Jackass. I hate that show.
  • The soap he uses smells so good.
  • He always tells me that I can do it. And when he says it, I know I can.
  • He deals with me wanting to decorate and  plant flowers EVERYWHERE.
  • He buys the flowers.
  • He's so much better looking than he gives himself credit for.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Number One

The 100 days of Confession have begun.
Here's the drill:
The end.

Let's get started.

1. I will NOT have a "rockin' body" by Spring Break.

Wanna know why? Plenty of reasons.
A. I don't have will power. None. Squat. ZERO. I like ice cream.
B. I kept finding good "diet and exercise" programs but I never started them.
I get so upset by the fact that everybody seems to think that overtly skinny, like anorexic skinny, is what's expected of a woman to make her beautiful. I mean, come on. What happened to loving boobs and butts and hips and hourglasses? I'm an hourglass. And now all of a sudden nobody thinks that's cool anymore. So what do I do? I stew about how nobody makes clothes to fit my shape and how I shouldn't have to change my body just so other people will like it and bla bla bla and yet: I hate looking in the mirror. Like seriously. I fucking hate my mirror. SO MUCH. I will never be as pretty as I wish I were or as other people think I should be. One of my friends told me today that I had "one of those normal, forgettable faces." Wow. Thanks a lot. I kinda wonder why she bothered to tell me that. I mean, it was... unnecessary. But either way, she's right. I'm plain. There's nothing special about me. I mean the thing is, if I lost like ten pounds in the right places, I'd have the body of a play-boy bunny. And don't tell me people don't freak the fuck out over play-boy anymore. So why am I forgettable? Why do I hate my mirror? Why will I always put myself to a standard of "beauty" that I can never reach and degrade myself when I fail?
I don't know.