So I just got back from a mission trip with my church last night. I have, by the way, since pledged to change some of my speech habits simply because they children I tried to teach deserve more than who I have become. Anyway, bottom line is I am now the most confused I have ever been about God and a few other things that I don't want to talk about yet...if ever...online. I'm having one of those moments where I stupidly wish everything would magically work out and everyone involved would be happy and....I don't know what I think could ever possibly happen to make all this stuff ok.
I'll tell you what though. Cried when they dropped us off at the airport, collected myself after a few minutes and lasted till the plane ride almost three hours later, cried through the take off and beginning of that flight, my pastor and friend tried to distract me with a card game, but I just couldn't get into it, kept myself together through the rest of the plane ride and the three hours in the next airport but when that flight took off, I fell to pieces and cried the whole way to the final airport.