Home-Made Chicken Pizza

Feel very loved, because I could be watching House right now. :)
This is how you make "Poor-People Tuscan Chicken Pizza"

You will need:
Pizza Crust
Chicken (Frozen, Grilled, Whatever)
Ranch Dressing
Cheese
Sauce (to be explained in-recipe)
Other Toppings of Your Choice
Pan, Cooking Spray, Oven (or Grill, I suppose) and all other such things, like oven mitts
OPTIONAL: A Partner to buy the wrong things at the store :)

Ok so here's how you get started. Raid the fridge for anything edible. Nothing? Decide you're going to be creative and make some Tuscan Chicken Pizza because that sounds freaking delicious right now. Call your boyfriend at work and say "Baby, would you be a dear and pick some things up for me on your way home so I can cook us something good to eat?" He'll say "But by the time I get home, it will be 10 PM. Will you really want to eat then?" Politely point out that if God never intended for us to eat at night, there wouldn't be a light in the fridge; he will politely reply that our light doesn't work anyway. You will respond with "Ok sounds great! I'll text you a list! I Love you!" Then hang up and start re-rummaging the fridge for useful items.
I asked him to bring me two red tomatoes, some pesto, some mozzarella, mushrooms, crust, spinach and garlic powder. He came home with mozzarella, mushrooms and crust. Hmmmmm.

At this point, if your chicken isn't cooked (because we use frozen fillets... I know, I know.) cover it in Ranch Dressing (I don't even like ranch dressing but this works!!) and stick in the oven to cook like 90% of the way.

Start on the pizza!

When you discover that you now have no sauce, reach into that little slot in the door of the fridge and pull out all those extra packets of taco sauce from Taco Bell. Spray down the pan with cooking oil and lay in the crust (we used the uncooked kind that pop out of Pillsbury cans :) Drip the taco sauce onto the crust in a "trying to even it out" kind of way. Don't worry, if you don't have any real sauce, trust me, this came out great! (If your boyfriend actually bought you some pesto, put that on as sauce too, but don't use all of it. Pesto is great until you eat a whole jar, it's a bit too much.) Also, if you have tomatoes (woe is me!) slice them into thin round slices and lay them on too! Tomatoes are SO GOOD when they are warn and cooked! (Someone remind me to tell you guys how to make baked "fried" green tomatoes! I know, it sounds horrible, but they are so good! I could eat them all day!)

Lay on the cheese. LOTS of cheese!! Then add as many mushrooms as you can possibly fit onto the pizza. Then add like 10 more. Save a few for omelets in the morning. :) YUM. Next, since the chicken isn't done yet, decide that you need more toppings....hmmmm. Oh I know! Get out that thin turkey sandwich lunch meat and rip it into little pieces and put it all over the place, and some bacon too. Bacon makes everything better!  (We were lucky enough to have some pre-cooked bacon that LoverBoy's roomie had bought, yay! no burnt bacon!). Put about as much bacon as you did mushrooms, if not more. But save some of that for omelets in the morning too!

Get the yummy, ranch drenched chicken out of the oven and cut it into pieces. Sprinkle it over the pizza. Think about how freaking good this would be if you had your darn tomatoes! Then, if you have garlic or garlic powder, sprinkle some of that over the top and some more cheese if you'd like.

Put the oven on about 475 and cook until the edges of the crust turn a nice golden brown (10-15 minutes) and when it comes out, give it a minute or two to cool so it doesn't fall apart when you cut it, then cut it and relish! :) This is an awesome pizza! When I get LoverBoy's camera, I'll put up the picture :)

I have no idea how many calories are in it, and I don't want to.
CAUTION: If you have a three month old blood hound puppy, he will try to kill you to get to this pizza. Please be careful, he likes to eat and he's a devil dog (but I'm sure you love him anyway) :)